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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23455981">how to not pine by richie tozier</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamb/pseuds/jamb'>jamb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bill Denbrough &amp; Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mutual Pining, chat fic, mistreatment of microwaves, spy au...kinda, the ot3 will be further down the line but don't you worry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:01:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23455981</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamb/pseuds/jamb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>richie: hey stanley<br/>stan: What did you do?<br/>richie: okay??? the lack of FAITH of TRUST i’m getting rn<br/>eddie: oh, you totally did something, didn’t you?<br/>bev: he totally did</p><p>(or the mi6/losers club chat fic literally no one asked for)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Stanley Uris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. microwaves were harmed in the making of this fic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>okay so this was a dumb idea i sent to my girlfriend and now im writing it because i had the idea of what it would be like for the losers to work for mi6 but like not as agents and yeah.</p><p>no, the losers are NOT british. yes, they work for mi6. please do not ask why.</p><p>the stan/richie/eddie will happen, meanwhile just enjoy pining richie and yearning stan/eddie</p><p>this is going to be so stupid im so sorry</p><p>their jobs:<br/>richie &amp; bev - q branch<br/>eddie - medical department<br/>bill - hr department<br/>stan - accounting department<br/>ben &amp; mike - agent handlers</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Thursday, 10:30 am</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>the losers club™</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>hey stanley</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>What did you do?</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>okay??? the lack of FAITH of TRUST i’m getting rn</p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>oh, you totally did something, didn’t you?</p><p> </p><p><strong>bev: </strong>he totally did</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>honestly the fucking betrayal???</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>Just tell me what you did.</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>so like,,,hypothetically,,,how much would it cost to replace microwave in the Q branch kitchen??? asking for a friend</p><p> </p><p><strong>bill: </strong>what did i say about work talk in the group chat richie?</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>UGH that work talk is for emails.</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>as if bev and i, angels who are LITERALLY in charge of cyber security, haven’t encrypted this chat to hell and back billiam.</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>anyway hey stanley</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>W h a t???</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>check your email.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To: suris@mi6.gov</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From: richietozier@mi6.gov</em>
</p><p><em>Subject: </em>Q branch kitchen replacements please</p><p> </p><p>so like,,,hypothetically,,,how much would it cost to replace microwave in the Q branch kitchen??? asking for a friend</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie Tozier</em>
</p><p>
  <em>MI6, Q Branch</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Thursday, 10:45 am</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>the losers club™</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>I can’t stand you, Richie. Do I even want to know what happened?</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>i SAID i was asking for a friend!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p><strong>bev: </strong>he put a prototype in the microwave instead of his hot pocket</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>an HONEST MISTAKE</p><p> </p><p><strong>mike: </strong>I mean, is it though?</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>Anyway, that’s a problem for HR. Email Bill.</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>U G H</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>richie </strong> <em>to</em> <strong> eddie</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>eds, light of my life!!! can i come use the microwave in medical???</p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>you know you’re banned from medical unless you’re bleeding out</p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>THAT DOES NOT MEAN GIVE YOURSELF A PAPERCUT AND CLAIM YOU’RE DYING</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>i would n e v e r</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>but i am dying of hunger,,,,pls eddie</p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>ugh. meet me in the cafeteria, idiot, stan and i are getting fried chicken</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>!!!!!!!!! omw</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To: richietozier@mi6.gov</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From: bdenbrough@mi6.com</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Subject: Microwave</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Q Branch’s microwave will be replaced tomorrow. Please refrain from blowing this one up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Bill Denbrough </em>
</p><p>
  <em>MI6, HR Department</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>richie </strong> <em>to </em> <strong>bill</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>thanks for the microwave !!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p><strong>bill: </strong>next time, instead of purposely blowing something up, you know you could just TALK to your crushes instead.</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>luebflirtgblitrhli shut UP BILL</p><p> </p><p><strong>bill: </strong>&lt;3 ready to go home?</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>will you make me that sleepy tea shit while i cry over how stan and eddie are probably making out in their apartment right now?</p><p> </p><p><strong>bill: </strong>of course</p><p> </p><p><strong>richie: </strong>i’m so glad i chose to live with you big bill</p><p> </p><p><strong>bill: </strong>&lt;3</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie </strong> <em>to </em> <strong>stan</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>did you notice bill was wearing one of richie’s ties at work today? the only person who owns that stupid fucking duck tie is richie, stanley</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>I did notice, and I was trying to not think about it, Eds.</p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>don’t eds me right now!!! what if they’re actually DATING STANLEY</p><p> </p><p><strong>eddie: </strong>how can we measure up to BIG BILL STANLEY</p><p> </p><p><strong>stan: </strong>They are not dating because Bill would have told me. We have to take this slow. Now please come to bed and stop pacing in the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. laser shoes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry that this is short!!! i'll try to churn out a longer update next time :)))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Friday, 2:20 pm</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>the losers club™</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><strong>ben: </strong>bill, is it form 52b or 52c for if an a*ent blew up a cabin in the polish countryside?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bill: </strong>did you censor agent just so i wouldn’t yell about emails?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>ben: </strong>….maybe</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>ben: </strong>but seriously</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>stan: </strong>52B is the one you need to send me so I can pay the owner of the cabin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bill: </strong>and it’s 52F for me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>ben: </strong>shit</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>being an agent sounds like so much fun</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>no bill’s yelling at you over email for blowing up microwaves</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie: </strong>what part of constantly being in danger sounds like fun, numbskull????</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>the blowing up a cabin part</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>ben: </strong>to be fair, 002 sounded like he was having a blast</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>mike can you give ben a high-five for that pun for me?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>mike: </strong>sure thing, rich</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bev: </strong>okay but 002 is partially insane</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie: </strong>exacty i have his files, he’s INSANE richie</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>aren’t we all, baby ; )</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>eddie </strong>
  <em>to </em>
  <strong>stan</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie: </strong>BABY !!!!! BABY, STANLEY!!!!!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie:</strong> I HATE HIM</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>stan:</strong> How much coffee have you had today?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie:</strong> too much probably. i think i’m vibrating</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>stan: </strong>I’m bringing you some water and fruit</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie: </strong>i love you a lot</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>4:15 pm</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>the losers club™</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><strong>bev: </strong>richie and i built something rad af. something i won’t name bc bill will kill me</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bev:</strong> but do ya’ll wanna come see us test it</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>ben:</strong> idk babe i have so many forms to fill out for 002</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie:</strong> yeah i’m swamped and hitting a caffeine crash</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie:</strong> okay shut up we literally built shoes that shoot lasers out of them</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bill:</strong> RICHIE</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>stan: </strong>I suddenly have no work to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>mike:</strong> would you look at that? me either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bev:</strong> bill breathe, like richie said, we made this chat more secure than most of MI6’s firewalls</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bev: </strong>we are gods of the typey-type</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>eddie: </strong>how do you delete someone elses text?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bill: </strong>typey-type</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>the tappy-tappy</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>bev: </strong>the codey-code</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>stan: </strong>Why are you two like this?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>mike: </strong>q branch doesn’t have any windows, they never see the sun</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>richie: </strong>SHOES WITH LASERS PLS FOCUS</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>To: richietozier@mi6.gov, bmarsh@mi6.gov </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>From: suris@mi6.gov </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Subject: Laser Shoes</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>The damage expenses include 5 desktop screens, 3 coffee mugs, and multiple picture frames. You don’t want to know the total but know most of it is coming out of your paychecks.</p>
<p>Side note: They were pretty cool.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Stanley Uris</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>MI6, Accounting </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let me know how you like the formatting of the different chats bc i'm iffy about it</p><p>come say hi tumblr: theuris</p></blockquote></div></div>
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